Blah

So, i haven't blogged in forever. I wish i could offer some really good excuse like I was abducted by aliens or I was rendered unconscious and have been in a coma. Alas all I can chalk it up to is plain old laziness. And the fact that nothing even remotely exciting as happened to us. Except maybe something that's been going on since last year is finally over. At least that's what i've decided because I just don't give a rip anymore.

The kids are almost done with school. Hannah finishes on friday and Jon finishes next week - he'll be finishing the year with a 3.0 or higher and Adam and I couldn't be more proud considering what his GPA was in california. Ninety degree weather here in north Texas hit so fast that I don't think we really had a spring. It just sort of went from cold to hot and humid in a matter of like 2 weeks. Not something I'm used to considering it takes the Bay Area like 3 months to go from the 70s to the 90s.

Like I said, not really anything has happened that's worth blogging about. I have to mention some people I miss: my sister, Rachel, Joe, g-ma and g-pa. there are other people i miss but...we won't go there.

until next time...

Same old, same old

As usual nothing really exciting has happened here this week. Well, maybe one little thing, but I wouldn't call it exciting. I took Hannah to a rehabilitation center to have a hearing evaluation done because in February she failed a hearing test she had to have done for school. Her pediatrition told me she had to have a hearing evaluation done to find out why she failed her test. Once at the rehab center the nurses led her into a booth the size of a port-a-potty. About thirty minutes later the nurse told me Hannah suffers from something called temporary hearing loss. When she told me this I sort of freaked out and starting thinking that we'd have to have hearing aids made for her. When she explained it to me, she said that Hannah's inner ear, which is the important part, is just fine. But her middle ear, the eardrum, is surrounded by so much fluid and wax that it's preventing her from hearing things the way they should be heard. She's actually hearing things like she's underwater.

So, now I have to take her to an ear, nose and throat specialist to determine how to fix the problem. The nurse said they might opt to put tubes in her ears. I hope that doesn't mean surgery but I have a horrible feeling it does. I always thought when Hannah said, "What?" all the time she wasn't paying attention. I guess it means that she actually can't hear me. However, since she's young it's something that can be fixed but it could lead to long-term problems if it's left ignored.

Anyway, I'll know for sure this afternoon after her appointment.

This week's American Idol had some surprises and some disappointments. Some notable's I have to mention are Michael Lynche, Casey James, Lily Scott and Andrew Garcia (although I was disappointed by his performance this week). All in all I do agree with who America sent home, with the exception of Haeley Vaughn. I understand her performance on Wednesday wasn't the best but I liked her from the very beginning and thought she should have stayed at least another week. In any event, I was more impressed by the men this week than I was the women, but I do think this is the women's year to take the title.

until next time...

Three times in one week?

I don't know about you, but I think I deserve an award for blogging three times this week. I said I was going to be better about posting and here I am, just as promised.

I just watched last night's American Idol and I feel I need to comment on who America decided to send home. First of all, I do not think Janelle should have been one of the ones to leave. In my opinion she had one of the best voices out of all the girls. And when I saw her standing next to Katelyn, who btw had one of the most boring performances on Tuesday, I though Katelyn would have been the one to go. Once again I disagree with who America chose to send home. But what do I know? I'm just one of the viewers who never votes. As for Ashley, I was never really impressed with her anyway, so I wasn't that heartbroken when she left.

As for the men, I cannot believe Joe Munoz was eliminated over Tim Urban. Not that I had anything against Tim but his performance was way worse than Joe's and I think Joe had a better voice anyway. Now, I was also never really a big fan of Tyler Grady's but I was surprised that he left over the other guy...I can't even remember his name. The one with really awkward performance and who stared into the camera like he was possessed. Alex, I think his name is. Once again I don't really understand the logic of some of these voters. But since I don't vote I guess I don't have a whole lot of room to talk.

I took my car the get the oil changed this morning. Is it just me, or do mechanic's act like they're being inconvenienced when you walk into their shop? Maybe that's just the experience I had. And they always try to tell me my car needs work other than what I brought it in for. Okay, if I want my air filter changed I would have asked for one.

And today will be another typical day at the Kern house. Get Jon and Hannah off to school, come home, put Brady down for a nap, watch some of my recorded shows (cause this is the only quiet time I get), get Brady up from his nap, feed him, pick Hannah up, an hour and a half later pick jon up, cook dinner, bathe the kids, put them to bed and collapse on the couch exhausted and ready to fall asleep.

And, I've officially decided Wall-E is the cutest Disney character ever created. I just want to give that robot a big hug.

Until next time...

From Dell to HP

So, I'm trying to be better about blogging. Instead of my usual once a month post, I'm trying to make myself post every few days. It's just that sometimes there isn't really anything to write about because...well...nothing exciting enough happens that's worth posting about. Here I am, sitting on the couch, typing on my brand-spanking new laptop and watching last night's recording of American Idol. So far mixed reviews for the women. Why do these contestants keep picking songs that are all wrong for them? All that does is make them sound pitchy and off key. And many of them will die an early death like they have in seasons past. And then I'll say ,"what is wrong with these voters."

Anyway, I got the kids off to school with my usuall hustle and bustle. Hannah and I had our customary back and forth banter. "Honey, let's go brush your teeth." "But i don't want to brush my teeth." "But we have to get ready for school." "But i don't want to go to school." And so on and so forth. At the end of our meaningless argument I walk away feeling like Linda Blair from The Excorcist and my head is spinning round and round. I have to remind myself that she's five and is extra susceptible to moodiness and tantrums. By the time we got to school she was excited to be there and her mood had done a complete 180. And then I feel guilty for getting mad at her. Don't worry folks, this is a daily routine I've long since become used to. I figure this is all preparation for when she's a teenager and she's gone from simple defiance to hating my guts. But I'm willing to take one for the team.

Last but not least I need to give a shout out to those I miss. My sister (who's always at the top of that list and we're way overdue from some video chat), Joe (who I hope to see before he leaves for his mission), Rachel (the sweetest girl ever and is so good to my kids). and i need to give a much long over due shout out to my new niece Madison who was born on December 31st. welcome to the world Maddie.

until next time... btw, here are our pictures from San Antonio






Here's Brady in the hotel room the morning after our ER trip and his sleepless night




Front view of The Alamo. It's actually a lot smaller in person




The guy in the middle with his back turned is my dad...not sure what he's doing here and I don't know where my mom was. And for those of you who haven't seen me in a while, yes my hair is no longer blond.




Here's Adam right after the ceremony holding a very cranky Brady, who'd gone the entire day without napping. And he'd thrown up earlier in the day from the aftereffects of the Adderall. Good times.

Introducing the Class of 2010

In the recently transformed arena of the Alamo Dome, countless family members and friends waited impatiently for their loved ones to come walking across the cement floor in their black cap and gowns, adorned with their multicolored stoles around their necks. For the next two or so hours we would watch while speeches were given and names were called for students to receive their diplomas from the University of Phoenix.

Let's rewind about 36 hours.

Friday morning, Adam and I got up and looked out the window to see if any of the 12+ inches of snow we'd received had started to melt. It hadn't. The only ground that could be seen was from where two parallel lines of tire marks had been made by a few lone cars. All around our neighborhood, fresh snow blanketed every possible surface, sending all of north Texas in a panic. After all, it's not like we've got snow plows on standby. Countless two-wheel drive cars could be seen on the side of the roads from where they'd lost control. Luckily for us Adam's truck is equipped with some impressive tires. Nevertheless, we left home Friday morning, driving slower than usual, trying to stay within the tracks already made by previous cars. By the time we got to the south side of Ft Worth the snow had cleared enough for us to drive at a reasonable speed. 6 hours later, we made it to San Antonio where we checked in to our hotel with Lorna and Barbara (mother and step-mother for those of you who don't know).

The Hyatt Place gave us a warm welcome and rooms the size of a small apartment (and we sure needed it with all the adults and kids we had with us). After dinner as we readied ourselves for bed and the upcoming event of the next day, it came to our knowledge that my one-year-old swallowed an Adderall pill. Considering it's medication made for an adult and will make your heart beat extra fast, Adam and I panicked like we've never panicked before. Leaving Hannah with her grandmother's we buckled him in car seat with shaking hands and tore off down the road for Northeast Baptist Hospital. On the way there, with Adam performing some moves that should NEVER be done in the presence of a police officer, I kept picturing them pumping his little stomach, and I went from panic to having a full blown anxiety attack. Well they got us from the ER waiting room and into hospital room with surprising efficiency, though not fast enough for a mother who is about complete meltdown. After talking with a nurse then waiting for a doctor, they told us all they could do is monitor his signs for the next 6 hours. This was at about 10 o'clock at night, mind you. which meant Brady would have to stay there until at least 3 am. So, they hooked him up to a heart monitor and he fell asleep on Adam's chest in about 3 seconds. After A LOT of convincing from Adam, my parents came and picked me up and took me back to my hotel. Adam and Brady came strolling into the hotel room at about 2:30 am. needless to say no one got very much sleep that night.

We all got up the next morning, not so refreshed or bright-eyed, had breakfast and lots and lots of coffee. Considering we didn't have to be at the Alamo Dome until two we decided to take what we had of the day and sight see in San Antonio. All we really had time to do was see the Alamo, which was pretty cool. Smaller than expected but still cool. And the architecture is beautiful. After realizing we only had about 30 minutes to spare we flew threw San Antonio traffic, with Adam changing clothes in the car - while he was driving I might add. Don't ask me how he did it. Anyway, he made it to his graduation with seconds to spare.

Like the proud wife I am, I watched him receive his diploma, took lots of pictures - with my mom's camera because the battery in mine died, big surprise there. I'll have to post those pictures later because I haven't uploaded them to the computer and, let's face it, I'm just too plain lazy to do it right now.

So now, Adam is officially a college graduate with his Bachelor's degree. I couldn't be more proud of his determination and endurance during the past four years. For those of you weren't there, you really missed out on a great day. Minus the trip to the ER, we had a really fun weekend.

Until next time...

Playing Catch Up

So, I know I've been really lazy about posting lately. To be honest, not a whole lot has been happening worth posting about. Well, except for the 6'2", 200lb, fifteen year old now living in our loft, which is only semi-private. But that doesn't seem to bother Jon. In fact, not a whole lot bother's him anyway. He likes the high school and seems to be adjusting well, except when he walks out the door in shorts and a T-shirt when it's 32 degrees outside. Then I sort of wonder about his sanity. But like I said, not a whole lot bothers Jon.

But that's not what this post is about.

It's about my so-called New Year's Resolution (for lack of a better term). And I don't even like that term because I never follow through with it. By the time February rolls around my "resolution" has been shoved the part of my brain labeled "I'll Get Around To This Eventually." But then I never do. I think the last time I made a resolution was in high school. I always had that one english teacher who assigned a paper before the Christmas break where we were supposed to come up with a New Year's resolution and how we plan on following through with it. And I always thought, "Seriously, what the heck am I learning from this?" I usually BS'd my way through it until my nonsense words filled up the mandatory one page. And we all know that when we're writing something that doesn't interest us, one page can feel like 10 pages.

This is all completely beside the point. The point is if I did have a resolution (which I really don't) it would be about forgiveness and my ability to actually dish it out - or rather not. We all have our own interpretations of what it means to forgive, at least I do. After enough time has gone by that person who did you wrong has become such a distant memory that you think to yourself, "I don't really care anymore so I guess I forgive them." But is that really what forgiveness is all about? If you say you forgive a person but you still can't bring yourself to maintain a relationship with them, then you really haven't forgiven them, have you?

When I looked up the literal definition of forgive in websters dictionary, this is what I found. To give up resentment of or claim to requital for; to cease to feel resentment. I don't know about anyone else, but the part I struggle with the most is ceasing to feel resentment. I don't think I've ever uttered the words, "I forgive you." I've certainly said, "Oh, It's okay," or "don't worry about it." But that's not really the same. Because in a very dark part of my mind lingers the tiniest bit of resenment for whatever wronged me. I honestly don't believe that we as human beings have the power to completely forgive a person without some otherwordly help. Maybe that's why I have such a had time forgiving people because I'm not asking for that help. I don't know why I don't. Maybe I feel that if I do forgive a person I'm admitting that whatever happened isn't a big deal or it doesn't really matter. And the things that warrant the forgiveness are a big deal and I can't seem to get to that point where I can let go of all the resentment I feel. I don't really want to walk around knowing I'm deluding myself by saying I've forgiven a person but I still resent them. I don't like being that sort of hypocrite.

For the most part, I think forgiveness is too complex a thing for us to fully understand. But maybe I should be only speaking for myself. I'm sure it's entirely possible for there to be people out there who have no problem forgiving people. They're of the mindset that they don't want to waste their precious time holding grudges. It's not that I like carrying all this baggage around. I just don't think I'm a strong enough person to completely let go of all my resentment. I know what my problem is too; I don't pray about this enough. I don't know why I don't; I should. The Lord is just waiting for me to hand these problems over to Him so they don't weigh on my troubled mind. I think it's one of those things where you have to want the help, and I don't think I do. Sometimes I think I do and other times I'm not sure. I know I'm the worst sort of headcase if I can't figure out whether or not I want to forgive a person. The answer should be a given, right?

Anyway, 2009 really tested my ability to forgive in ways I never thought I would have to deal with. As 2010 rolls on, it has gotten easier to ask that simple question. I've gotten to the point where instead of an immediate, "Hell, no," now it's an head bob accompanied by a "I'm still not sure." I guess that's progress right? Maybe by the time 2011 comes I'll have left the maybe category and stepped foot inside the yes column. I'm not going to hold my breath. There are things coming that will determine my ability to forgive. I don't want them to. Try as might, I know it's inevitable. I have good intentions though. It's just that my follow through sort of sucks.

I guess now is a good place as any to end my rambling. I know some of this doesn't make much sense to those of you out there. Heck, some of it doesn't make sense to me.

In a round about way, I'm what I'm trying to say is if I had a resolution (which I don't) it would be the ability to forgive. It's sort of like that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We always search for it, we want it, but we can never get a hold of it.

until next time...

T Minus 2 Days

Okay I have absolutely no excuse for my lack of posting the past month. When I'm on vacation I tend to completely ignore my computer while my e-mails build up to the 3 digit range. I had planned on adding a post while we were in Disneyland to spread our fantasy cheer. But after spending 12 plus hours walking around, standing in line and riding the Flight of Peter Pan like 6 times, the last thing on my mind as I collapsed on the hotel bed was typing on the computer. Heck, I couldn't even speak a coherent sentence much less type one. Sit tight folks, because I plan to cram 3 weeks worth of activities into one looooong post - and we've been pretty darn active.

First of all, I never thought I'd be more homesick than I am right now. After 3 weeks of living out of a suitcase, sharing a room with Adam and Hannah and traveling from one place to the next, all I want to do is collapse into my own bed and use my own bathroom. Our giddy enthusiasm of taking a vacation has dwindled down to, "okay I'm having fun, but I really want to go home."

Let's start from the beginning shall we. On Saturday, December, 12th, Adam and I were up before the sun, packed our two sleeping, unaware kids in the car and began the two day drive to southern California. At around... oh, I don't know, midnight, 7 very tired, borderline cranky people checked into the California Paradise Pier Hotel for 3 very full days of Disneyland magic. The first and third days there were spent maneuvering our large stroller around other large strollers so Hannah could ride every little kid ride and get her picture taken with every character we ran across. Hannah and I spent a considerable amount of time waiting in line to get a 30 second glimpse of Tinkerbell (which is fast rising up the ranks to bypass the likes of Belle and Ariel) and other Disney princesses. By the way, whatever happened to the characters just walking around whereupon they get hoarded and mobbed by people who just have to get their pictures taken with them? Nowadays you have to find their secret hiding spot and stand in line for 30 min. I guess, given the alternative it's a pretty efficient process. And it did put a smile on Hannah's face which, after all, was the whole purpose to this gleeful trip.

After two days I got my fill of Fantasyland, the Christmas Parade (which I saw twice) and hamburgers that cost like $15. All in all I'd have to say that Disneyland is by far one of my favorite places on earth to spend, probably because I turn into a little kid and still believe that Sleeping Beauty really lives in the castle that has a zillion white lights on it. I will admit that I do get a little bit giddy when I see Mickey Mouse or Pluto strolling through their hometown.

The second day, we spent at the California Adventure park, which I'd never been to before. Those of you who've never been there, it is pretty cool (although in my opinion it doesn't hold a candle to the magic kingdom). Although there are a lot more characters walking around than at disneyland. We spent a majority of time at the park that pays special tribute to A Bugs Life. Hannah and grandma rode every little kiddy ride till I had my fill of kiddy rides and needed to do something daring to feel adult again. That's when I was talked into riding the Hollywood Tower of Terror. I don't know why I did this ride. I spent the whole thing with my eyes closed and my head burried behind adam's shoulder. Ten years ago I would have done this ride over and over until my knees felt like jelly. Somewhere along the line, I lost my nerve for free-falling at sixty miles an hour and walking out feeling like my small intestine is lodged up in my throat. Since the ride didn't malfunction and plummet me to my fiery death, I suppose no harm was done.

So after 3 long, tiring days and bags full of suveniers, we headed to the bay area to spend Christmas with Adam's family. We were there for 5 whole days before getting back in the car and heading to my brother-in-law's to spend christmas with his family.

Well, Christmas is over now and life is pretty quiet at the in-laws' house. However we are about 500 pounds heavier with all the presents the kids got. Still haven't figured out how we're going to cram all that stuff in the car, in addition to my nephew's things since he's going to be moving in with us (this has been in the works for quite a while and I won't go into an extremely long post describing the circumstances surrounding that one). But Adam and I are very happy to have him and hope this move is what he needs to get his butt in gear.

So, that brings us up to date with all the activity this past month. Oh, and another little event we had is Brady turned 1 on the 27th. Even though he had no idea what was going on, he did thouroughly enjoy the cake grandma made him - the evidence of it was all over his face.

Here are some pictures of our disneyland trip and a video of Brady eating his cake. Also, at the end is a bonus video of Adam and the boys playing tribute to Willie Nelson on Rockband (which, by the way is the funnest game I have ever played and I'm pretty good at the guitar, thank you very much).